just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
