im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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