Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
