Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
