He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Two words: blizzard sex
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