I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
