She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
