We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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