i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
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