i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
