im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
