Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize