After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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