So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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