xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize