I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
