she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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