hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
