If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
