new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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