I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just made out with a guy for $7.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
