Just fell off a train. Bad.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
