I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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