he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize