I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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