there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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