my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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