are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
