I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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