you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
