I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
