she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize