I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
