Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize