So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
