She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
