He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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