god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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