90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
