ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
