No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
