i jhust puked up my retainher.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
