Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
