:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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