Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
