it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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