Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize
