marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize