Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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