no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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