i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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