Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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