i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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