I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
