On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
