Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
