nut hugger
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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