I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
