he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
