I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize