After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
