He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm passing your future prison.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I could fuck to npr.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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