I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize