I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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